Trust Exercises
by masruiiiik
Summary: Pain said that this would help them learn how to trust each other, the rest of the Akatsuki told him he was being a pain in the ass. Akatsuki fic!


_Disclaimer: -Insert cheesy disclaimer here-_

_A/N: Let's play a game! Let's count how many times I've made a character OOC. :D Okay, jokes aside, if a character does seem OOC, tell me, alright?_

_Enjoy!_

…:…

**Trust Exercises**

…:…

"Man, why are we doing this?" Kisame asked while holding a scowling Itachi up by the underarms.

"Because," Pain answered monotonously, "to be able to complete your missions successfully, you must learn how to trust your partner."

"Well I don't trust this guy!" Deidara snapped angrily while pointing to an innocently whistling Tobi, "He'd probably be too busy singing about flowers and sunshine and unicorns to catch me! And then I'd fall to my doom, and instead of becoming art, I'd just end up as a splat on the floor!"

"But I trust you Deidara-senpai!" Tobi said, flashing Deidara a very Gai-looking thumbs up. And if we could see his face, we'd probably also hear his teeth go _bing_ and see them flash in another Gai-wannabe move. Deidara just growled and snapped his teeth at him.

"People, come on," Pain said, watching the whole scene unfold before him, "if Itachi and Kisame can do this, so can you two."

Just after he said that sentence, they all heard Kisame give out a yelp and then heard a loud crashing sound while feeling a small earthquake resound around them.

"You were saying?" Deidara asked mockingly.

Kisame got up and glared angrily at Itachi. "What the HELL? You were supposed to catch me Uchiha!"

"You're too big for me to catch, your size is enormous, how I'm supposed to catch you is beyond my knowledge." Itachi answered blatantly, not sounding apologetic at all.

Suddenly, the rest of the Akatsuki members could see floating dark rain clouds drift through the room and make rest over the top of Kisame's head. A forecasting shadow settled over the blue man's face. "Great, first it was my strangely colored skin—"

"You're still hung up over that?" Deidara interrupted, rolling his eyes.

"Now, it's my strangely abnormal size. God just wasn't nice to me when he created me."

"Or maybe your mummy and pops were just abnormally ugly," Deidara sneered.

"What did you say you son of a bitch?" Kisame asked, clouds dispersing at a high rate while the shadow disappeared all together.

"You heard me fish-boy," Deidara said while going on his tiptoes and getting in Kisame's face.

"Why you…" Kisame said, flushing into a very interesting shade of color. He almost resembled a plum. Almost.

The rest of the Akatsuki members watched, faces composed into bored expressions.

"Hey Pain-sama," Tobi said quite suddenly while Kisame and Deidara were still going at it, "aren't you glad that you didn't put Deidara-senpai and Kisame-san together as a team?"

Pain just stared while cursing at that abnormally painful headache that suddenly hit him with full force.

"By the way, where are the rest of the Akatsuki members?" Itachi asked while staring intently at his nails. The purple nail polish was chipping away; he was going to have to repaint his nails soon.

"Konan went out to buy some groceries, Sasori had to make a new puppet, Hidan went to the pub, Kakuzu is at the Black Market, and Zetsu is in his room having a debate with himself." Pain recited easily on the top of his head.

"Yet when I told you I had to repaint my nails, you said it was completely necessary for me to come." Itachi deadpanned.

"… Painting your nails is not as important as visiting the pub."

"Right." Itachi nodded to show his understanding even though he honestly did not understand how painting his nails aren't as important as going to a pub. But he would not show his confusion. He still is an Uchiha, after all.

"… so why are we doing this again?" Tobi asked innocently.

"So that we can learn to trust one another with our lives should it come to that." Pain repeated for the sixtieth time in that hour. Pain, oh the pain!

"Pain-sama," Tobi injected as Pain was crying internally while he still looked as menacing and aloof on the outside, "I think you should interfere. Deidara-senpai just slipped a clay bomb into Kisame's cloak."

BOOM!

"There goes the bomb!" Tobi said cheerfully.

Smoke emitted from Kisame's cloak and suddenly the piece of black and red fabric slipped onto the floor. The buttons from the robe clanked uselessly against the stone flooring.

"YEARGH!" Kisame yelped. He tried desperately to hide his family jewels.

"OH MY GOD!" Deidara screamed while throwing himself headfirst to the floor. "MY EYES! MY EYES! I'M SCARRED!"

Itachi simply sighed.

Pain felt his eyes twitch as he said, trying to ignore the bile growing in his throat, "Kisame. Put on your robe."

"WHO THE HELL PRANCES AROUND NAKED WITH ONLY A CLOAK COVERING HIM?"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, DEIDARA!"

"Umm… Pain-sama, I have to go," Tobi said, twiddling his thumbs, "I just remembered that I have a meatloaf waiting in the oven for me."

"Go… just go." Pain said, his cold façade breaking as he felt tears accumulate in the corner of his eyes. Never had he felt such intense pain. Never.

"Does this mean it's alright if I go as well?" Itachi asked, trying to decide which shade of purple to paint his nails this time. Plain old purple or eggplant purple?

Pain waved him off and Itachi practically floated out of the room. Just as the door swung shut behind the Uchiha, Zetsu stormed in with an enraged look on his face.

"Pain-sama!" Zetsu thundered, ignoring the fact that Kisame was trying to put on his cloak and that Deidara was rolling on the floor and shouting about losing his innocence. "Can you please tell me that scrambled eggs are obviously much better than sunny-side-ups."

"Scrambled eggs are much better than sunny-side-ups." Pain managed to croak out.

"See? I told you!" Zetsu proclaimed before contradicting himself and insisting, "You made Pain-sama say that! Everyone knows that sunny-side-ups are better! What are you talking about? Obviously scrambled eggs are better! Oooh, don't make me go over there!"

"YOU'RE RIGHT KISAME! YOU'RE COMPLETELY RIGHT. IT WASN'T JUST THAT YOUR MOM AND DAD LOOKED HORRENDOUSLY UGLY, GOD WAS JUST MEAN TO YOU AS WELL!"

"SHUT UP!"

"No…" Pain muttered to himself, "No more trust exercises. They can all die on the missions. Just… no more…"

…:…

_A/N: I hope you enjoyed this. I definitely enjoyed writing it! I'm sorry if any of the characters are OOC, it's my first time working with them, but if they do seem out of character, please tell me. And I don't know if this is AU. I don't really watch Shippuden or read the newest mangas, I just know the basics, but I'm not sure who died first or next, so if it's AU, well…_

_I just love the Akatsuki, anyone else with me on that matter? And since I love them so much, I decided to start a collection of Akatsuki related stories. This is just one of them. If you enjoyed this, keep an eye open for more, because I have about ten more ideas up my sleeves!_

_Leave a review, ne?_

_And I hope everyone had a fantastic Easter!_

_Love,_

_OneSecondEternity _


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